dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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