how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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