The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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