I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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