Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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