Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
