we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
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answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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