fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
