The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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