plz talk dirty to me
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
