Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
