I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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