Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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