Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
As shirtless as possible
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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