"it" just moved
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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