my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
