Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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