do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
birth control should be required to get into college
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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