no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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