You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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