If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
My bed smells like the plague
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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