ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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