too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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