Well douche your snatch and let's go!
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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