problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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