Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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