Welp...herpes.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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