I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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