My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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