we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
