dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize