She's JV to your varsity
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
how does that bad decision feel?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
