You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
What drink are we having for lunch?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
