Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
