i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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