The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Damn victory sex feels great
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