i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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