Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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