Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
