You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
