can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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