Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
