So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
