I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
