on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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