i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
