trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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