I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
