If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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