Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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