Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
