Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
