Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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