There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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