Im at strip club and am horny
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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