wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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