You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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