so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
