just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
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