Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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