What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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