"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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