During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
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