Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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