He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Randomize
